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Got the balls? Men are super-sizing their testicles with this bizarre new procedure
Most lads worry about the look and feel of their penis, which can make them less confident in the sack. But now men are shifting attention away from their schlongs and towards their scrotums.
A certain testicle-boosting injection is the latest cosmetic surgery fad that lads are flocking to have – and forking over £2,800 in the process.
The procedure involves squirting botox into the scrotum – leading the trend to be dubbed “scrotox” and “balltox” – in a bid to get a lower hanging and more relaxed-looking ballsack.
Scrotox doesn’t just decrease sweating and reduce the wrinkled appearance of lads’ testicles, it also boosts their size.
It seems men are paying more and more attention to their looks and the number of guys going under the knife in the quest for beauty has doubled in the last decade.
But scrotox isn’t the only bizarre cosmetic operation to hit the market, with men also seeking to increase their girth down below by injecting their own fat into their schlongs.
The procedure takes around 45 minutes and will set you back £4,500 but you have abstain from sex for six weeks to let the penis heal.
As for the results of the manhood makeover, don’t expect to stretch more than one inch wider than you were before.
Speaking exclusively to Dailystar.co.uk, certified plastic surgeon Dr David Alessi explained the long-term effects of the procedure are often less than desirable.
“Unfortunately, upwards of 90% of men are dissatisfied with the results,” he said.
The medic, who founded the Alessi Institutes and Face Forward, a charity offering free procedures for victims of domestic abuse, warned that lads’ obsession with penis size could be a symptom of a serious psychological problem.
He said: “Most men who think they have a small penis actually don’t.
"Studies vary, but research suggests that the average erect penis ranges from under five inches to just under six inches.
“Most men who think their penis is too small have penis dysmorphic syndrome and would be better off seeing a shrink and not a surgeon.”
Men risk their lives in wars so women can enjoy societies where they can pursue feminist goals, such as punishing men for sexist language.
It’s official. The world has gone mad. According to a recent media report Australian men are flocking to get a new wrinkle-reducing procedure. Scrotox. Like Botox, the idea is to reduce wrinkles. But not in the face, in your balls. The place where everyone looks.
Because we all know that’s something men have always needed. ‘Trevor’s a nice bloke but his sack is a mess. It really ages him.’ Yep, what man doesn’t desire a date with his own big smooth balls? His very own shiny billiards nestling under the pool cue.
I don’t get it. I understand penis pumpers, penis enlargers and, in some rare cases, penis reductions, but wrinkle-free nuggets? I guess it would make them easier to shave or rest in egg cups if that’s the kind of thing you’re into, but I frankly can’t see the point of having the family jewels all perfect and smooth. Whom are you showing anyway? When have gorgeous gonads ever been a prerequisite for anything? For a start, it’s a ballsack. Swamp nuts. Cojones. Bollocks. They live in the underpants and lurk behind a piece of anatomy that very naturally attracts a lot more publicity. When it comes to PR it’s all about the penis. Come showtime, the ballsack sits backstage, watches the front pocket showpony from the wings. Doesn’t matter how much Botox you shoot into your balls, it’s never gonna rival the cock.
The penis is a simple structure, but impressive enough to feature on Grand Designs. There’s a reason that buildings have been modelled after the phallus instead of the nutsack. Nutsacks aren’t sexy. Nor are they architecturally sound. It’s like highrise versus a hairy yurt after a hail storm. Like Botox in the face, all expression will be removed. I mean how will we know how the poor ballsack is feeling? Happy Sack? Sad Sack?
It may come as a shock to most men, but women (I can’t speak for gay men, but I’m assuming they’re not in the ball park either) just aren’t that interested in your nuts. In fact in all my years, in my most sexually explicit conversations with girlfriends about the prowess of their new lover, I’ve never heard a single woman say, ‘My god, you should see his ballsack! It’s amazing. Not a wrinkle! He has the scrotum of a 10-year-old!’
The poor old nads have never rated a mention. I don’t mean to be cruel, but we don’t really care about your sack. I’ve never looked at my partner’s ballsack (actually I think I try not to look) and thought, if only I could iron out those wrinkles. ‘Darling get some Anusol on those things!’ And, I’ve never fantasised about a partner with a giant jewel bag.
That’s the other effect of Scrotox: it makes your balls bigger. I’m not actually sure what purpose Big Balls actually serve other than inspiring the lyrics of an AC/DC song for the amusement of adolescents in the 70s. It didn’t take a genius to work out that this wasn’t a song about a cocktail ball.
On the upside, Scrotox is purported to reduce sweating. No more sweaty ballsacks. That’s not just a selling point, that’s an ad campaign. I guess if you have a profusely sweating scrotum that somehow impedes your enjoyment of life, like you slip off bike seats or had some sort of debilitating jock-rotting condition that destroyed furniture, then maybe you might consider Scrotox.
So why Scrotox? And why now? Because Botox is big business and big business relies on expanding the market. There’s a finite supply of women’s faces to store cosmetic Botox. That’s a market that’s been very comfortably exploited.
But testicles. That’s a dark and hidden place of shame for men. Scrotox is just more market exploitation of human inadequacies and self-loathing. What man when faced with his sagging prunes wouldn’t jump at the chance of a couple of Xmas plums?
Please, blokes. Let the balls swing free. Imagine a world where nutsacks were perfect. Pert and swollen like boiled eggs in a body stocking. Where they didn’t slip out on a hot summer’s day down the left leg of Uncle Barry’s King Gees and emerge like a slowly escaping marsupial? That’s a world I just don’t want to live in. Buck the system and free-ball.
You’re not alone. A lot of people are worried about how their genitals smell and look.
And I’m glad you asked the question. This remains a taboo area, so people who are anxious about their bodies may feel unable to ask for advice. Or are unaware there are things they can do to help themselves.
This reply hopefully includes information that is directly useful to you, but may also help other people worried about body odour.
We all smell
At the risk of stating the obvious, everyone’s genitals smell. They all have a natural scent and may also sometimes smell of pee, poo or sweat. Or blood if you’ve got your period, or have recently given birth (or experienced pregnancy loss), or had genital surgery.
You may notice more of a smell from your genitals during or after sex. Women may notice at different times in the month their genitals smell more strongly, and that may also be the case during pregnancy.
But we’re led to believe by our media, self-help industry, peers and some cosmetic manufacturers that genitals should not smell. Or rather if they do, it should only be of soap or perfume.
That means if you can smell your body you may be embarrassed, or assume you are dirty, or there’s something wrong with you.
This is reinforced through jokes or shaming – suggesting women whose genitals smell must be promiscuous, diseased or unclean. This can prevent women accessing healthcare, especially if they are young or unmarried or living in cultures or communities where virginity is highly valued and pre-marital sex frowned upon.
So the first thing is to work out is the smell normal for you and your body? Does it even exist? Or are you anxious about your genitals because you’ve learned that anything not covered up with a spray or fragrance is disgusting?
If so you may be able to reassure yourself nothing is wrong with you and note what you have been taught about your genitals is unhelpful.
Alternatively, if you are noticing an ongoing unpleasant smell - particularly if it you haven’t had it in the past; or if it’s associated with pain, unexplained bleeding, or discharge - this should certainly be investigated further.
Check for yourself
As you aren’t certain if you do smell, it’s useful to do some personal detective work.
Can you recall when you first noticed the problem? What reduces the odour, or makes it stronger?
Keep a diary for the next week. Notice if the smell is present all the time or at specific times of day.
Does wearing particular clothing trigger it? Is it relieved by washing or does that make no difference (or even seem to make it worse)? If you sniff your underwear, jeans, tights etc after wearing them for a few hours do they smell bad?
More than just an odour
Although it isn’t always the case, genitals that are very smelly may often be accompanied by a discharge. As with genital smells, genital discharge is also normal and this guide from Scarleteen explains what this looks like.
However, you should be concerned if you notice a smell that is fishy, yeasty or cheesy AND…
• An unusual discharge that may be green, yellow or grey; have blood in it; or be frothy or very thick
• Stinging or burning sensations when you pee, or pain/discomfort inside your vagina, or stomach/low back pain
• If you are running a temperature and feeling feverish.
What could be the cause?
There are a number of reasons that might be causing your genitals to smell. Although it may be necessary to see the doctor, you may first want to try the following to see if it clears things up.
• Stop using vaginal deodorants, heavily scented soaps or other products that may aggravate your genitals. If you’re washing frequently because you are worried that you might have body odour this may be making things worse. Washing with water may be more soothing and this guide on genital hygiene may be useful.
• Check if any washing powder/fabric softener could be causing irritations and switch to non-allergenic brands.
• If you are worried about the smell being caused by a lack of hygiene, then washing regularly and wearing clean underwear should resolve the problem.
• Tight clothing – underwear, tights, trousers and so on, can aggravate the genital area. So looser clothes, or time without underwear on may help.
• If you use tampons, a Mooncup, contraceptive cap or diaphragm, then ensure these aren’t still inside you.
Some antibiotics and other medications can cause problems like thrush, which in turn can lead to genital itching and possible smell. Similarly health conditions, including diabetes, can lead to vaginal irritation.
Alert your doctor if you think this might be the cause of your odour problem.
Other possible reasons
The contraceptive pill can also lead to a change in discharge or a smell. Ask whoever supplies your contraceptives (family planning clinic/doctor) if you are experiencing problematic side effects and perhaps discuss other contraception choices.
Alternatively if you have a coil there may be a chance of an infection from that, which is leading to smell, discharge or other symptoms (see above) - in which case you should seek immediate medical advice.
Women with a disability that affects mobility or who have a catheter may experience genital irritation, soreness and smell. For those with support packages and PAs (personal assistants) there may be some concern over discussing genital issues and body odour, particularly for younger people. Considerations around dignity, respect and hygiene are vital however this does not mean the only response to noticing genital odour is washing (more on this later).
Trans Women may have concerns about vaginal odour that may or may not be related to infection. Noticing odour following surgery or when using dilators should be checked out, even if there are no other symptoms. There is more information below if stigma, shame or possible negative previous experience with healthcare staff makes you feel anxious about seeking help.
During and after the menopause changes within the body can lead to irritation, infection and smell. Some peri and postmenopausal women avoid seeking help due to embarrassment, fear of examinations being painful, or believing they no longer need genital care.
How to spot an infection
All people with vaginas can be affected by what’s covered by the term ‘vaginitis’. This refers to swelling and discomfort around and in the vagina and can include things like thrush or bacterial vaginosis.
These are not sexually transmitted infections, but they may be aggravated by having sex. More often they often occur with no sexual contact and can cause bad odours as well as discharge, itching and (sometimes, but not always) pain.
Although you aren’t in a relationship, if you have had sexual partners in the past it may be the smell you’ve noticed is caused by a sexually transmitted infection (STI). This guide gives you more information on how to spot if you might have an infection and where you could go for confidential testing and treatment.
Unexplained bleeding, pain, discharge or a recurring bad odour problem should be given medical attention, regardless of whether you are in a sexual relationship or not.
When and where to seek help
If you believe you have an infection then it is wise to seek help promptly. For things like thrush or bacterial vaginosis you could speak to your pharmacist in confidence, or see your GP.
If you think the problem is related to contraception then you can ask your doctor or family planning clinic for advice, using somewhere like Brook if you are under 25.
For those who’ve recently had a baby and think they may have an infection, ask your midwife, practice nurse or GP for help.
It’s understandable to be worried about seeing the doctor, not least if you feel ashamed or embarrassed – or perhaps if you are uncertain if a bad smell is reason enough to seek medical assistance. But if you haven’t been able to solve the problem yourself and if the symptoms aren’t going away or are getting worse, you should always seek medical advice.
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